This post is about clothes. DUH. Get your mind out of the gutter and whip out your credit card.

Like every self-respecting New Yorker, I see the world in two colors: color, and black. This is not an exaggeration. As you can see, my closet is almost perfectly divided into the two shades:

[Left: colors. Right: black, shades of black, and patterns based of black/grey and black/white]

Try as I may to embrace bright hues and bold patterns, I can’t bring myself to really spend on investment pieces that are not black (or, at the very boldest, tan/camel/grey).  Sure, I’ll buy a crazy neon yellow tanktop with hot pink ponies printed on it, but that tanktop will be from Forever21. (I will wear it once to a concert and take some fun Facebook pictures and it will never be seen again. Can you really have Facebook pictures from more than one event in a neon animal print “silk” blouse? New. )

Colors are fine for flimsy bar dresses, but when it comes to infusing my closet with basics I will wear for years to come, it’s black all the way. My intern in DC once told me she knew I was from New York (her exact words were actually “I knew to be scared of you because you were from the city,“) because all my work outfits could be made funeral-appropriate with the draping of a cardigan or a quick change of shoes. Despite considering that the utmost compliment, this winter, I’ve been trying to be extremely brave with my purchases. This week, I ordered a camel-colored cape (which I will surely show off in two weeks when it arrives–Hautelook I love you but your shipping times are cruel and unusual punishment. There is literally no way I can wait until November 17-24 for a garment I ordered on November 1) and splurged on a big, snakeskin print bag. Nonetheless, I believe there are ten black items every woman should own. They are:

1. Leather jacket

2. Peacoat/cape/winter outerwear

3. Throw-over-everything cardigan (if you have ever believed anything I’ve said, this cardigan should be Theory. I wear my Theory black cardigan 4X a week. It’s cost per wear since purchasing it last winter is literally 3 cents. Not literally, because I haven’t done the math, so if someone does, let me know).

4. Flat boots

5. Va-va-voom heels

6. Perfectly fitted pants

7. Little dress (duhhh)

8. Tights (I’m talking nice tights here. Just one pair of black tights that you didn’t buy in Duane Reade on your way out because you realized you looked way too skanky without. You won’t regret it. If you do I’ll buy them off you. As I mentioned before, I recommend Commando or Hue)

9. Bikini (Chloe makes a life-changing one, if you don’t have boobs or enjoy sandwiches. If you have boobs and have been known to eat a full pizza for breakfast (hey self!) l recommend Trina Turk. I have this bikini in black, and have worn it for years. Also, if you want to score a great bikini cheap, I recommend buying now. They are all on sale, and will give you a reason not to go back for fourths at holiday dinners)

10. Pencil skirt

Over the years, I have always made sure to have one of each of these in my closet. Investing in these items, en noir, ensures that the rest of your clothes will look more polished and expensive, and more importantly, that you’ll always have something to wear them with. This winter, I have added a few more place basics to my wardrobe:

[Pants/”Veggings” (Velvet Leggings): Seven for all Mankind. Skirt: Seven for all Mankind. Can’t find the exact skirt online cause I got it at my favorite place in the world, Loehmann’s, but this one is a fun option]

[Sweater: H&M, Skirt: Seven. Nikki, did you really lay out your clothes on your bedroom floor and make them look like they were waving hello to us? Yes, yes you did. You loser. Get off the internet and get a hobby.]

[Booties: Vince Camuto. These booties are literally the most comfortable shoe I have ever owned. The wedge heel is 3.5 inches and so thick that it almost feels like a flat. I could walk miles in them. By which I mean, I walked to work in them, once, and my feet felt fine. Also that day was today. I know it’s only 10:30AM but thus far, my feet feel wonderful] 

Another benefit of black is that aside from being classic, it makes you look skinny. The best.

Am I missing any black basics?