Transitional Tricks

April is a tricky and transitional time for apparel–one the one hand, the high is 75 degrees. On the other, the low is 50. You really really want to break out your bare legs–however, you haven’t had any sun or cardio since September. Can you please wear those strappy sexy sandals you got on sale at Barney’s last August? Not before you get yo feetsies to the pedi place, pronto.

As I mentioned earlier, the essential springtime purchases for the lazy and pale are maxi dresses and flat sandals–but the temperatures are really creeping up, and you did go to yoga twice last week, so if you really feel ready–it’s time to bare some leg.

For those of us brave enough to break out the tight-less mini skirt/short/romper, a few essentials:

1) Invest in a perfect layering piece. I’ve created the below outfits with the same striped APC top. A premium cotton top in white, stripes, or shades of neutral will take you through the spring, and is worth the ca$h doLLa$.

2) Purchase some scarves. A scarf adds an instant accessory, and will cover your bod as you’re exiting the bar you entered at 6:30 at midnight shivering (you’ve had a long day…you deserve a long happy hour). The scarves below complete these outfits perfectly, however, most of them rest at the ridonculous price range of $100. A good way to avoid spending $100 on something that you will probably a) leave at the club or b) use to wipe up spare salad dressing/Pinot Grigio/casual vom is to do what I do–purchase your scarves exclusively from New York City street vendors. Hey, Joe on the corner of 5th and 40th, I’m looking at you. Scarves purchased from street vendors range in the $5-$8 range. If Joe tries to charge you $10, he’s ripping you off. Consider yourself warned.

3) Spray tan. Just do it. Snow White could pull translucent off, you can’t. If the idea of a spray tan freaks you out, try Jergen’s Tanning Lotion. It doesn’t streak and you can by it at CVS.

4) Chunky wedges. It may be a wee bit chilly to rock a full-fledged strappy sandal, but with a Pedi-Egg and a thick, statement wedge, you’re ready to face all sorts of cobblestones and cocktails.

Ready?

I. When Happy Hour Might Turn Into Dinner And Dancing

[Jacket: ACNE (A good leather jacket in a tan or taupe nearly doubles your outfit options, Top: APC (I own this top. It is the softest and most wonderful cotton blend ever), Scarf: Love Quotes By Calypso, Shorts: Topshop (Isn’t the fancy short the best? These look just as good with black tights when the winter chill rolls back around), Shoes: Halston (I can’t tell if Carrie Bradshaw or Barbie would be more comfortable in these shoes, but I desire to own them real bad), Bracelets: Stella & Dot]

II. When You’re Headed To The Beer Garden But Pretending You’re Headed To The Hamptons

[Jacket: Elizabeth & James (Nik, are you really trying to tell me the denim jacket is back? I wore that back in the day when I used to eat my own boogers (don’t lie, we’ve all done it). Yes. It’s back. Especially if it’s Elizabeth & James. Jackets only, not boogers), Top: APC, Scarf: Malene Birger, Skirt: Marni (I love this skirt, It shouldn’t work, and slightly resembles what a clown might look like on acid, but it’ s so freaking cool) , Shoes: Tobi ($68!) , Necklace: Vince Camuto]

III. Omg, Do You Want To Get Brunch At That New Place On Avenue B?

Blazer: Topshop (Topshop makes a sick blazer-on-a-budget), Top: APC , Scarf: Jane Norman (This scarf is 10 Euro and actually appropriate to purchase), Shoes: I Don’t Remember And Can’t Find The Link But Here Are Two More That Would Work: Carlos Santana, See By Chloe, Shorts: J. Crew (How I love thee these days, J Crew), Necklace: Belle Noel By Kim Kardashian (Yes, this necklace is by Kim Kardashian. And she is the worst. But isn’t it cute? Try to find a similar version, unless you’re comfortable envisioning Kris Kardashian bathing in tubs of hundos cackling maniacally]