Anyone who has ever lived in New York has a tumultuous relationship with the city, and mine is compounded by the fact that ever since I was four, this has been my home. I don’t have neatly manicured lawns and suburban basements to draw comparisons to and long for when being the going gets tough and the shit gets particularly shitty. Rather, for as long as I can remember, I’ve been a New Yorker. Given that my relationship with the city outlasts my relationship with just about anything else by a long haul (men, jobs, schools, hobbies), it goes without saying that we sometimes fight.

So, I’d like to say, publicly and unabashedly, in writing, so I can reference it next time we have a falling out: New York, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such a bitch for the past few months. Maybe it was your endless polar vortex, maybe it was the rut I was stuck in, maybe it was just me taking out the frustrations of the everyday and the mundane out on you: but I’d really like to apologize. I took you for granted, and although I can’t promise that I never will again, what I can promise is this: Give me your weird. Give me your terrible. Push me away as hard as you can. Convince me that my hundred square feet of personal space couldn’t possibly be worth the money I pay for them. Surprise me on my commute to work with a ten minute long encounter with a particularly disgruntled and fragrant homeless man. Plan a three month long construction project directly outside my walkup window. Let some idiot from New Jersey steal my cab, at 3AM, in the rain, and drive away splashing muddy water all over the brand new shoes that I spent 2 hours in a sample sale line waiting for. Trap me permanently in Times Square at rush hour. Give me your crazy. Give me your shocking. Give me your what-kind-of-masochist-puts-themselves-through-this-over-and-over days. Give me you your but-you-couldn’t-possibly-do-this-anywhere-else-nights. Throw me for a loop here and there, would you, because I do solemnly swear: I’ll forgive you.

 And now, Joan Didion, and outfit photos:
“…quite simply, I was in love with New York. I do not mean “love” in any colloquial way, I mean that I was in love with the city, the way you love the first person who ever touches you and you never love anyone quite that way again.”

• Sunglasses: Prada (last seen here, buy them here)
• Blazer: Elizabeth & James (last seen here, buy it here)
• Scarf: SoHo Street Vendor (buy similar here)
• Earrings: Amrita Singh
• Tote: Rebecca Minkoff (buy it here)
• Jeans: Forever 21 (last seen here, buy em here, may I re-iterate, for EIGHT DOLLARS)
• Booties: Vince Camuto (buy em here)